The World Is Crumbling Around Us!
by marginaliana
Summary: Four MacDonald Hall field trips where Bruno Walton didn't cause the apocalypse, honest, Mr. Sturgeon! Bruno and Boots, gen.


1. Parliament Hill

Boots rubbed his forehead quickly, trying to dispel his headache between careful glances up and down the hallway of Centre Block.

"Bruno!" he hissed. "You can't... seriously, The Fish is going to come looking for us in a minute! I bet he's head-counting that tour every time he turns around."

Bruno flapped a hand in what was probably meant to be a soothing gesture, though his attention didn't waver from the paperclip he was wiggling in the lock of the really important room that most likely had some sort of proximity alarm and then the men with guns were going to come and... Boots took a deep breath. The door clicked open.

"Aha!" said Bruno, pulling Boots inside and flipping the lights on. "Oooh, this is cool!"

It was cool, Boots had to admit. The office was lined with dark paneling that became an elaborately carved molding near the ceiling. Squinting, Boots could make out several gargoyle-esque faces, one with gigantic ears and another wrinkling its nose that reminded him of Wilbur being faced with the sub-standard cuisine of the cafeteria.

Bruno settled into the chair behind the desk and leaned back, pulling out a drawer and propping his feet up on it.

"D'you think the chairs will still be this comfortable by the time _I'm_ Prime Minister?" he asked idly.

The door opened again and Boots jumped, turning. It was the person he least wanted to see (well, okay, maybe The Fish was tops on that list, but this guy came a very close second).

"Mr. Prime Minister," he said in his best placating tone. "Um..."

"Do you have a moment?" said Bruno, smiling somewhat dangerously. "It's just, I have some comments to make on your Goods and Services tax and I thought we'd drop in and see if you were free today."

Boots put a hand over his face.

"I beg your pardon?" said the Prime Minister.

"Ooh!" said Bruno. Boots looked up to see Bruno swing his feet off the desk and sit up, his attention caught by something inside the open drawer. "What does this big red button do?" Bruno reached down.

Boots was across the room and pulling Bruno back before he even had time to realize what he was doing.

"What?" said Bruno, affronted. The Prime Minister's hysterical laughter echoed loudly in the silence. That was too much for Boots.

When he came to, The Fish was waving smelling salts under his nose and Bruno and the Prime Minister were sitting off in the corner talking calmly about what a trial it was to be a young man of ambition. _Typical,_ thought Boots.

2. Canada Wide Science Fair

"Come on, Boots!" Bruno said, settling onto the edge of the hotel bed and pulling the keyboard onto his lap. "We're doing our good deed for the day - helping Elmer out with his science fair project."

"I'm pretty sure Elmer doesn't need our help," Boots pointed out calmly. "After all, he's won first place three years running."

"MacDonald Hall's got quite a legacy to live up to," said Bruno, "which means we'll all have to chip in and do our part. You wouldn't dump all of that responsibility on poor Elmer, would you?"

_Poor Elmer is right,_ Boots thought, but leaned over Bruno's shoulder anyway. "All right, fine," he said. "What are we helping with?"

"We're just going to give Elmer's robot a little fine tuning, add some pizzazz to it. I mean, Elmer's a genius and all, but..." Boots nodded. He knew that if there was one thing Elmer didn't have, it was style.

"Now," said Bruno. "Let's look at what he's programmed in here. Directional ability, check; flashing eyes, check; laser - oooh, laser! Well, we'll come back to that. Three laws of robotics, boooooring. Hmmm, I don't think we need all of these, right?" His finger hovered over the delete button. "Got to make space for some new material!" he said cheerfully.

Boots gulped. "No!" At Bruno's intense glare, however, he bit his lip. "I think you can get rid of number three, but that's it," he said firmly. "We can't undo too much of Elmer's work before his demonstration tomorrow or he'll get upset. You know Elmer."

"Fine, fine," said Bruno airily. "Now, about that laser."

The next morning, the robot sheared off the top of the flagpole outside the convention center before walking itself onto the highway and under the wheels of a huge truck. As Elmer, wide eyed, gathered the robot's scattered remains, Boots breathed a sigh of relief and silently thanked the aged librarian at his local library for suggesting he read all those old science fiction novels.

3. National Microbiology Laboratory

The Fish was keeping a close eye on them all this trip, which made Boots both frustrated (because The Fish made him so nervous that he'd bitten his lip hard enough to draw blood) and relieved (because he did, after all, not want to end up having to do the detentions necessary to pay for, say, a $10,000 microscope).

"Come on, Boots, live a little!" said Bruno. "You have to admit, the idea that one of these tiny little viruses could kill millions of people is pretty cool."

"Yeah," said Boots weakly. "Um, someone _is_ watching Sidney, right?"

"Of course," said Bruno. "Got one of the guys on it. You worry too much, Boots! Come on and look at the anthrax information with me, okay? I want to do my project on it."

Boots sighed. "Okay, Bruno." They walked down to the far end of the room, Boots trying his hardest to step lightly.

"Isn't this one awesome?" Bruno asked pointing at one of the blown up virus images taped to the wall. "It looks like one of Mark's 'fine art' photos." Boots had to agree. Mark's stuff was seriously weird.

"Hey, Mark!" Bruno hollered across the room. There was the sound of breaking glass and Boots felt all the blood drain from his face.

"No, it's okay!" called Sidney. "Just a tray of pipettes!"

4. Algonquin Park and Echo Valley Observatory

"Brr, it's cold out here!" said Boots, following Bruno through the woods. "And windy! Did we have to do this so late?"

"Well, we were never going to get away from The Fish when he's awake," said Bruno reasonably. "Although I think he's slipping. He didn't even check if the hotel windows opened. Oh, no, maybe he's getting sick or something! We'd better stop and get some chicken soup on the way back. We can just leave it in front of his door."

"Bruno, I'm sure The Fish is fine. He probably just got busy dealing with Sidney's poison ivy."

"Mm, yeah, I guess," said Bruno. "Poor Sidney. He must be pretty uncomfortable."

"_I'm_ pretty uncomfortable, actually," said Boots, "so can we do your kite thing and go? We have to be up at 6 to come all the way back out here for the hike, and then there's the observatory tour, you know. Late night." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder at the building sticking out of the trees behind them.

"Yeah, okay. I just need one or two shots. Roger said he wanted to see if it would stay up in a wooded area. Here, you hold the string, and I'll launch it."

"I can't believe we're doing your cousin's homework for him," Boots grumbled, but he held the spool of string.

"He's only ten - not nearly as experienced in the ways of sneaking out as we are."

Bruno climbed halfway up the trunk of a large tree and tossed the kite into the air. It was lifted in the breeze between the trees for a long moment, and Bruno scampered down again, pulling a camera from his pocket. A gust of wind caught under the kite and it sailed upwards past the sparse top limbs of the trees. Bruno took a couple of pictures, the flash illuminating the woods around them.

"Are those going to come out?" Boots asked. He yawned widely.

"Yeah, I borrowed Elmer's camera and he said it should give me a clear picture of the kite against the clouds."

"Great." Boots reeled in the string and brought the kite down. "Why'd your cousin paint a huge flaming rock on it, anyway?"

Bruno shrugged. "I dunno. He's got a weird sense of humor." He tucked the kite under his arm. "Let's go, I'm cold. Hurry up!" Boots rolled his eyes but followed Bruno back up the trail past the observatory and towards their hotel.

The next day's observatory trip was cancelled because of some sort of uproar about a giant meteor heading towards the Earth. When this was eventually proved not to be true, too late to reschedule, Boots just shrugged._ At least we'll get to have a quiet night in,_ he thought.


End file.
